OMG it's been awhile...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!  The twins really enjoyed their first Christmas just to bad they both were sick & mommy was too.  One Friday Christmas Eve we started out at Grandma & Grandpa Ischay's for the first part of the day & then we ended the day at G&G Saggio's & there were lots of people there & they got lots of gifts.  They had a very, very busy but fun day!  Christmas day is when everyone woke up sick & so we just chilled at home & did nothing all day. 

Well everyone is doing better except DH is sick now. 

So I went out & bought the twins their first toothbrush & toothpaste & we started brushing their teeth to get them use to using a it.  I'm also trying to teach them to walk.  Joey has already taken his first steps & Addi has just started letting go of things & standing there w/o holding onto anything so I'm hoping it's only a matter of time.  You can tell that they both want to get up & take off, but they cannot figure out how.  I cannot believe they are going to be a year old in just alittle over a month :-( it makes me very sad, I miss them at tiny babies in some way, but it's awesome to see them grow & mature over the months.  I'll tell you that's been the best experience ever. 

I'm so happy all the holiday's are over, b/c we are offically BROKE :-(.  I looked at our banking accounts just a bit ago & I almost cried b/c we have NO money, our savings it gone.  Oh God please don't make anything go wrong where we need emergency cash until we build it back up.  Go figure my engine light came on this morning!!  WTH.  Tears are forming in my eyes right now b/c I do not like this no money thing I really don't like it at all, I'm scared to death!!!!  Please, please, please don't let anything go wrong & please, please let us rebuild our savings back up quickly.  This is frightening...

Just not feeling it today....

I'm really just feeling overwhelmed, upset, ashamed, guilty today.  My sister Sam came in to visit from Denver & she, my sister & her BF & my nephew, my parents, my cousin Denise all came over for some pizza after work & just so everyone can see each other.  Well first off my DH had a Christmas party for his work & got there alittle after everyone arrived.  So we all ate & DH just did other things, so I ASSUMED he wasn't hungry cuz he would have ate at the party.  Well after everyone left he started playing a damn guilt trip on me like always (b/c he knows I get easly upset/guilty)  I said I cannot believe you didn't leave me any pizza... Ok first off when you saw us all eating why didn't you come over & eat.  Also he said he didn't eat at the party (Ok what did you do then???).  So ok he made me cry.  Then I've got a situation w/ our babysitter all off sudden smoking in the downstairs bathroom.  Our house is smoke free & I have childern in my house & one that's already has congestion when she breathes.. Why would you feel like smoking in the house????  I understand it's cold out, but come on treat it like a job & you cannot smoke on a job you have to go outside to do it.  This is the second time I've noticed my bathroom smelling like smoke.  My husband won't say anything to her b/c he's affraid she'll get mad & quit & I don't have the guts to confront her about it myself.  Also my DH has known her since he was a kid b/c he is BFF's w/ her son.  I do understand its our house & we should tell her to please don't smoke in it, but I don't know how to tell her w/o putting bad vibes between us & creating awkward moments from that point on.  I HATE awkward moments.  I wish my DH would understand that this is about the kids & their health.  I know I hate my house smelling like smoke & I don't want that bathroom to start smelling like it all the time & think about how it'll turn buyers off when we do go to sell it.  I can deal w/ that right now no matter how much it bothers me, but what scares me & bothers me most is the twins health. I don't want them around 2nd hand smoke it's as bad as 1st hand & especially on babies who are still developing.  I just need some idea's on how to tell her w/o hurting her feelings or sounding rude or mean.  UGH, What should I do?????

So I'm just feeling blah cuz I have that on my mind & then the whole stupid pizza thing w/ DH & I'm just feeling so damn bad right now.  I sersiouly have tears in my eyes.  That's just who I am, I'm very emotional.  I also want to have some sexy time w/ DH since we didn't get to last night cuz I was asleep before he came up & when I mentioned it to him today he just kinda said "Blah"... He said where's my pizza.. Whatever, please just drop it.  I just feel like I cannot do it anymore.. I try so hard to provide for my family & be the best wife/mom I can.  I'm running out.  DH has another X-mas party for his ex-employer (which he really doesn't have to go to, just going for free beer/food) it starts at 3pm & his boss is letting him go early, so I kindly asked him if he can be home by the twins bed time so he can help me... (that's 4.5-5 hours of drinking/eating socializing) he said no I don't think I'll be home by then, anyways I know he'll be drunk by then so I don't really know how much help he'll be anyways, we'll probably end up arguing all night & end up w/ me crying.  So anyways the reason I asked him to be home is b/c I offered to watch my BFF daughter who is about a year & a half from like 7pm-11pm.  I'm just worried that it's going to be hard to put the twins to bed w/ her cuz what do I do w/ her then... Stick her in the pac-n-play until I have them in bed so I then now for sure she is safe by herself for a few minutes while I put them to bed??  That is the only thing I'm worried about & what if the twins are having a bad day that day & I need help???  What if I have 3 cranky babies by myself along w/ two annoying dogs to deal w/????? 

Ok, well I'm done venting, but really not feeling better getting that out like I thought I would.  I just cannot wait for the weekend to be over....

Christmas is coming....

I'm actually so very excited to finally get to spend a Christmas the way I've always hoped & prayed to one day........... with a family of my own.   Of course we'll be going over to my parents house & DH parents, but just to finally have a son & daughter of my own to spoil is the best thing ever.  I really don't want anything else for Christmas b/c I have all that I can ever ask for.  I told DH to not spend anything on me & just get the twins something this year.  I just cannot wait their 1st Christmas.

This Saturday 12/11 we get their Christmas pictures back & so that means I'm going to have to do a mad rush with getting x-mas cards out w/ the photos in them.  Also start looking for frames for the photos we're giving to family for x-mas. 

I've go so much going on & things I want to get done w/i these next few weeks.  Then once Christmas is over it'll be time to start planning the twins 1st birthday party.. I cannot believe it 2 months away :-( makes me so sad & I want another one soooo badly. 

First steps

Joey offically took his first steps two days ago & he's been practicing since.  We will have a offical walker soon.......  Addi is not interested in it yet, but give her time.  Other then that nothing new Joey is breaking his top front teeth & the ones next to them so he's breaking four at once.  Addi is still working on her #5&6. 

OH my it's December!!

I cannot believe it where did this year go?  Well I haven't updated in a while, but nothing much new has taken place.  The twins had their first Thanksgiving & they both had their own plates of turkey, stuffing, sweet potato's, cranberries, green bean cassorole & they enjoyed it.  It was a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Last night we took them for their Christmas pictures & I was alittle worried about how Joe was going to react b/c go figure of all days he decided not to take a nap & w/ Addi & her shyness towards strangers.  But we lucked out & they did wonderful & they look awesome.  I cannot wait to get them back or for them to go up on the website. 

So other then that I feel like I'm coming down w/ a cold.  The last two days I've been alittle stuffy & I have a sinus headache today.  I wish it would just come already & stop w/ these few days before.... 

9 months & counting

Well the twins first Thanksgiving is right around the corner & I'm super excited to spend the day as a "family" something that I wished & hoped for a looooong time.  I'm heading over to my parents to make dinner b/c my mom had the knee replacement & cannot cook it this year :-( I only hope I can make it as good as her, but of course she will definitely be there to supervise, LOL! 

I have to start thinking of what I'm going to do for the twins Christmas pictures.  I want to make them my Christmas cards but I am trying to decided where & when & what I'm going to use for the back ground.  Ugh, idea's would be apprecative...

So Joey is showing signs of wanting to walk.  He can stand for several seconds on his own & he's taken a step toward me.  Just this morning he was trying to stand on his own w/o holding onto anything.  It's time to start working w/ Addi so she's right behind her brother (if not ahead of him).  I'm sorta excited to get them walking but I also don't want them to start b/c it's going to get crazy & that also means their growing up :-(. 

My favorite place

I absolutely love when the twins both fall asleep on me at the same time.  I know I won't be able to hold them both in a year or two, so I try to enjoy it as much as I can now.  It usually only happens on the weekends when I'm home in the AM time. 

Just precious.

Weight issues

So I finally broke down & called my doctor.  I need answers as to why I'm so completely exhausted all the time when I average 8-9 hours of sleep a night & why I haven't lost not a single pound in 7-8 months.  I've changed my diet & went to the gym & tried everything & I cannot lose anything. 

I understand I do have 9 month old twins, but this exhaustion is not b/c of that.  I had more energy when I was pregnant!!  I shouldn't be exhausted and ready to fall asleep at 8pm after the kids go to bed.  I am so tired at work.  It cannot be them at least during the week days b/c I get up at 6am & the twins don't get up till almost 7am & I go to work & get home around 5:30pm & then I spend my night just playing w/ them until bed time & I'm exhausted. 

Anyways, I'm hoping to find answers or given solutions on a jump start of losing weight.  I'm sick of looking the way I do & I want to get out of my matirinty clothing already.  The twins will be walking soon & I need the energy to keep up w/ them.  I don't want to be the mom who just sits & watchs her kids b/c I'm to "fat" to play w/ them.   I'm also sick of not wanting to go out w/ people b/c of the way I look & not wanting to go anywhere b/c I don't have the energy. 

Well my appt is next Tuesday!!  We'll see what happens.

Monday's

I know its been said before but the weekends come & go way to fast.  I hate Monday morning especailly when it's a pay close, meaning I've got payroll to do. 

Weekend was ok, nothing exciting to report.  I didn't get my much needed cleaning done.  I am usually a clean freak & since the twins were born I haven't cleaned my house from top to bottom (including all 3 bathrooms) like I use to.  It's driving me crazy.  In order to do this I need someone to take the twins for several hours so I can do in uninterrupted.  I was able to organized the twins bed rooms & box up the clothes they don't fit into & pull out the ones they do & I actually feel better that I could do that. 

DH has annoyed the heck out of me.  I bust my ass all weekend, every weekend & he really doesn't do much in return.  This is how my weekend went starting from Friday after work.  Came home fed the twins & tried to eat my dinner & then gave twins a bath & then played w/ them & then put them to bed.  DH ~ ate, watched TV, helped undress the twins for bath & then sat on lap top w/ a beer in hand the rest of the night. 

Saturday - 6:45 I got up w/ the twins, changed fed  & played w/ them.  DH finally got up & we went to breakfast.  Then DH went to get haircut as I stayed at home w/ the twins & then we all went to Lowes for supplies & then off to Firestone for an oil/tire rotation on both cars.  While at Firestone I fed & played w/ the twins while he stood outside watching them.  Got home & I put them down for a nap & then DH was meeting friends at a Flyers for lunch, but he did take Joey w/ him b/c he woke up early from nap.  Once Addi got up we headed up there for lunch & a beer or two.  Get to Flyers & I again feed the twins dinner & play w/ them.  They were getting fussy so I took them home & played w/ them until bed time.  DH got home after they were in bed & went right on the lap top playing cards w/ a beer. 

Sunday - I made DH get up w/ the twins at 7am while I layed in bed for another hour.  Then I got up & played w/ the twins & fed them breakfast as DH went back to bed until 12pm (when I told him I need help) I had stuff to get done.  I made lunch for the twins & DH & fed them & then cleaned that up then DH put them down for a nap while I was in Addi's room boxing/unboxing clothes. Then I started their 2 loads of laundry & had to run to BRU for wipes & then stopped to pick DH up something from McDonalds.  Then when I got back Joey was up so I went & sorted thru his clothes & finally got a shower in.  Addi got up & I fed/changed her then I did our 4 loads of laundry & made dinner & then fed the twins & had to clean up.  Then it was bath time again & DH helped undress them & then I gave them a bath & dressed them & made their night bottles & then played w/ them.  Then I put them to bed. During this hole time DH watched football & didn't help me clean a thing & you wonder while I don't have time to clean my house the way I want. 

Anyways, I had to vent b/c I was pretty upset about this.  This seems to be every weekend my DH is lazy and it drives me crazy....

TGIF

I went out last night to GNC & picked up some Max Protien for my breakfast/lunch meal replacement smoothies.  Today I made Sweet Veggie Smoothie & it wasn't as bad as I expected, but it did hold my hunger off.  I actually didn't start getting hungry until around 11:15am.  So far so good.  http://www.smoothieweb.com/sweet-veggie-smoothie/.  I have gotten other smoothie recipes off of here & cannot wait to try some more. 

Today's a new day!!

So nothing really new to report w/ the twins they are doing great.  My mom went in for a knee replacement surgery on Monday 11/8/10 & she's doing great.  I'm going to take my nephew & Joey to visit her tonight.  I sat w/ my father on Monday during her surgery & it was nice to spend some qualitity time w/ him.  This weekend we're going to "try" to paint the ceilings (something my DH was suppose to do before the twins) & get some projects done around the house before winter comes.  My sister is coming home to visit next week & I cannot wait.  Then it'll be Thanksgiving & my DH & I & friends are going to Columbus for the Ohio State-Michigan game.  This will be awesome, but I'm alittle nervous about leaving the twins for two days.

OMG, it's November

I cannot believe it's already November and on the 5th the twins will be 9 months, OMG where did the time go.  On 11/4 they will go for the well check up. So nothing really to report new. 

Halloween has come & gone & since mom was lazy & never went out to get a costume they ended up with Joey a Pea in a Pod & Addi a pumpkin (pic below). We took them over to my parents house & went around the cal-de-sac w/ them & my 6 year old nephew.  We only took them up to two houses & gave the candy to Nate (nephew).  It was a good night. 

Bad night

So the twins have been sleeping thru the night for 6+ months now & last night Joey decided to have a bad night.  He got up at 1am I tried rocking him to sleep for an hour & he kept falling asleep on me but as soon as he went in the crib he would wake up crying.  So finally at 2am I had to lay him down & let him cry it out & finally at 2:50 he went to sleep, or maybe I went to sleep, I cannot remember, but I don't think I heard him anymore.  I felt HORRIBLE letting him cry, but I know it was something I had to do.  I think he's coming down w/ a cold b/c he kept coughing all night.  So when my alarm went off I so badly wanted to just hit snooze.  To say the least I'm exhausted today.  I think I'm about to go get a 5 hour energy at lunch. 

Tonight Grandma & Grandpa are stopping over to watch the twins for a bit so DH & I can run out to the store.  Other then last night they are doing great.   They go to the doctors in a week for their 9 month well check up.  They'll be 9 months on 11/5/10, WOW i cannot believe it.

Oh Boy!

First I wanna say Happy Birthday to my dear husband!!

I had the evening from hell yesterday!  From the moment I walked in the door from work the twins were so whinney & just crying till the time they went to bed.  I seriously almost lost it.  Then my husband decided to go psycho on me last night when we were going to bed one reason is b/c he didn't have his Zoloft to take. 

I'm so very tired right now.  I didn't make it to the gym last night b/c I was completely exhausted (no excuse) I should have gone to make myself feel better mentally & physically. 

Monday's How I hate them!

Well made it thru the weekend!  I'm so exhausted.  My DH went out Saturday night and was completely worthless yesterday.  I had to do everything from the twins to making dinner & doing laundry as he just laid on the couch. 
I haven't been to the gym since Wednesday (UGH)!  I feel disgusted, but Thrusday the twins were really needy & I had to cook some baby food & then Friday we went out for dinner & I watched my nephew for a couple hours.  Then Saturday I went to Falloween w/ my BFF Pam & her 1.5 year old daugther & then went to dinner & then the neighbors house then home & I couldn't go cuz I was home w/ the twins by myself.  Sunday well look above I didn't have time to go w/ everything I had to get done.  Anyways I WILL be going tonight no If/ands or buts!!!! 

The twins are doing good.  They'll be 9 months on Nov 5th.  They are maturing more & more every day it just amazes me.  Joey is constantly pulling himself up on everything in sight & so is Addi, but she gets stuck when she's up & cannot figure out how to get down & will start crying.  They both have been crawling for a couple months now, but Joey started doing the hands & knees crawl a few weeks ago, but just this weekend Addi graduated from the Army crawl to the hands & knees.  Bath time is no long fun b/c of the constant wanting to stand up.  It's more like a "bad" chore for me.  I'm trying to clean one as the other one is standing on the edge of the bath tub & when I tell them no then Joey just laughs at me.  Please oh please just don't let them fall in the tub & hit their head.  By the end of bath I'm sweating like I just got done running a marathon or something. 

The best feeling though is when I was going to leave for work today & I was standing in the front room & Joey crawled up to me & pulled himself up & started whinning/crying wanting me to pick him up.  So I did & kissed him & told him I have to go & put him down w/ his sister.  Then he followed me to the door & stood up and watched me walk to the garage.  So heart breaking but a wonderful feeling.  I absolutely love being a MoM.

Happy Friday

Well I had to miss the gym last night b/c the twins have been very, very cranky the past few days & Joey has not napped in 2 days & so b/c of that as soon as I walked in the door from work all he wanted was mom & he was not happy unless I was holiding him so that was basically my whole evening.  So anyways I took the iniative to make them some food after they finally fell asleep for the night.  I peeled & boiled some carrots, potato's & apples.  I feel alittle better that I actually have something for them to eat now for the babysitter. 

I really don't understand why Joey is not napping & why they are both so cranky.... I know Addi has her two front top teeth coming in so I know her reason.  Joey I don't feel any teeth coming in so I don't know what his problem is, but they are sure keeping mom on her toes, UGH. 

Ok, now I have to try to get thru this day of work so I can go home and kiss my babies & play and hopefully relax & go to the gym. 

I cannot wait for GLB to finally put out their most famous beer "Christmas Ale" oh where are you?!?!?!?

Hump day!!

Well there really is nothing new to report.  The twins are doing great, I'm just struggling w/ trying to find them foods to eat since they are not on pureed anymore.  I'm going to have to google baby food recipes or go to the library & get a book. 

I went to the gym again last night & I am starting to remember what it use to feel like to workout again.  I'm feeling so good & it's only been two days.  I just need to keep up w/ it & go 5 days a week like I use to.  My goal is to be able to wear a size 12-14.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to get back into a size 7-8 like I did 6-7 years ago when I lost 60lbs b/c I was much younger then.  I will be very, very happy to be in a 12-14. 

So this morning when I walked into Joey's room to get him he was standing up in his crib (my little stinker).  He's prefected the standing now.  Addi was still asleep when I left for work, which upsets me b/c I like to say bye & give them both kisses in the morning.  So I really need to find them a halloween costume, I've been putting it off long enough now. 

Ok, that's enough for now it's time to get to work.

I really need to keep this update more often & of course I'm still learning on how to use this & how to add stuff. 

The twins update

So they've been crawling since about 7 months & they started pulling themself up when they turned 8 months. I'm just waiting for them to start walking. Their 9 month appt is on 11/4. They both have their two bottom teeth for about 3 months now & just today Addi's two top teeth broke thru.

Addi still has congestion in her chest & has since birth. I can hear her breathing sometimes, and I have mentioned this to the doctor at most of their other appts. and at first they told me to sit her up more when feeding her, but it still has not gone away. I will mention it to the doctor at their 9 month check up. I am just worried b/c a couple times when I was changing her diaper it seemed like she gasped for air, but I didn't know if she was playing or it was really happening.

Joey is doing great they were alittle concerned about his "big" head & possible water in the brain, but a few weeks ago I had a follow up for it & his head was starting to measure w/i the charts & seems to be slowing down w/ growing and his body was catching up to his head. Thankfully.

Here is a recent picture.... 8 months.

Working out!

Yesterday I finally went to the gym, yes I got my fat ass off the couch after the twins were asleep. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical & I think I might have over did it for the first time back in almost 1.5 years. I also did some arms. I felt awesome, the high was just amazing. I almost forgot what it felt like.

What got me to finally start watching what I eat & going back to the gym is I went to get my hair cut last Thursday & I saw myself sitting in the chair and OMG talk about fat hanging from every corner on my body. I have never ever been this big. I was totally disgusted with myself.

I will be going back today to do the elliptical again & some legs.

Baby Food

I spent last Sunday making my baby food. I'm so excited I finally got to do this & I'm also happy that the twins love the food so far. I like the fact that it's all natural & I know what's going into the food (nothing). So far this is what I've made.

Mangos - love
Avocados - Ok
apples - love
bananas - love
green beans - love
carrots - love
chicken breasts - hate
pears - love

I have to think of something that mixes well w/ the chicken b/c they do not like just plain. I'm going to try blending the chicken w/ apples tonight & see how that works for them. If it doesn't work out then I need to find another receipt.

Next week I'm going to add these items (they've already had some of the store bought baby food ones):

Sweet potato's
Yams
Squash (all kinds)
Pumkin
Peaches
peas
Turkey
Ham (maybe)

Upset

It's Friday!!! Whoo Hoo. I'm feeling alittle bit like a single mom these days. My DH is always wanting to go out drinking w/ friends and I'm left home alone w/ the twins. Don't get me wrong I love being home w/ them but it'd be nice if he'd stay w/ me. It all started back in Nov 2009 I was about 6 months pregnant and DH's parents built a house up at the Islands (Port Clinton area) and he was all involved in that. Meanwhile we got a boat & jet ski's & a camper and they are all up there (well they are his parents/ours(long story)) so as soon as the nice weather hit this spring he is spending weekends out there w/ his friends and such and it's hard by myself raising the twins especially when they were new borns. I've gone up there w/ the twins here and there but it's hard packing all the stuff for them & then they don't sleep well at night out there & in return I never sleep well in the camper. So I don't like going out there much also b/c it's very difficult to go on a boat w/ two that were under 7 months old. Then the only other thing to do is drink and just sit around staring at each other. It's just not that exciting, things will probably change next year when they'll be a year and can do more.

Anyways I just needed to vent b/c it's very draining and difficult for me & my DH just doesn't seem to understand. I spend lots of night/days just crying and feeling so lost/confused. I really don't know what else I can say or do for DH w/o him getting pissed off at me & saying that he can never do anything. Whatever....... I cannot recall the last time that I got to go out w/ the girls or my friends & he stays at home w/ them. The most I get to run to the store but after they go to bed, UGH!!!

Alright I am done venting I guess. Just feeling depressed and alone w/ raising the twins.

Wanting another baby

So, I have been thinking and I really would like to get pregnant agian, not sure when but I'd like too some day soon. I was diagnosed w/ PCOS and We concieved the twins w/ fertility shots & IUI's but I don't want to have to go thru the fertility meds and all that again. I have gotten birth control pills from my doctor at my post partum check up, b/c at that time I didn't want anymore, but I haven't started taking them yet b/c deep down inside I want another baby.

I really don't know what to do.......... I highly doubt I'd get pregnant again w/o fertility help, since it didn't happend for 1 1/2 to 2 years before. I just get depressed thinking about it.

I am truly blessed and so happy w/ my miracle twins & I also look at it as if it never happens I am happy for them.

Weight loss

I'm struggling here! I gained ALOT of weight in the last 5 years. I gained most of it while I was on fertility and then two months before I got pregnant I had to stop working out so the weight just came on w/ the fertility shots and no activity. I had to stop working out b/c the shots made my uterius large and running could cause it to turn. Anyways I then put on the weight from a twin pregnancy. I have lost about 40lbs after the twins birth, but I seem stuck & the weight's not moving. I also am having a hard time getting myself to get back on a healthy eating track and getting back to working out. This pregnancy has taking a tow on my joints so bad & I know all this added weight doesn't help. Then with twins & currently being back to work full-time I cannot find the time to work out. By the time they go to bed I'm exhausted and I don't want to go after work b/c I want to run home & spend time w/ them.

Basically I need inspiration. I need some good advice & support to get me motivated again.

Mom of twins after infertility

Hi, I'm 35 years old & just had twin boy & girl on 2/5/10 after 2.5 years of trying and a 1.5 of fertility medicine. This has truly been the best experience of my life.