Welcome Jake Christopher

This is looooooong over due.  I just barely have time to get on the computer anymore.  I had a scheduled C-section set for Saturday, October 1st and Thursday, September 29 was the start of materinity leave for me.  Well Jake had other plans.  On Monday, September 26th at around 3:30pm my water broke while at work (yeah, my biggest fear) but it wasn't like a gush or anything.  I went to the bathroom & then while I was standing at the sink I felt a little gush & thought I peed myself (thought I didn't empty my bladder completely) so I went back to the toilet.  Even though I was wet I figured I can make it another hour & a half b/c it'll be embarrassing to tell someone I peed myself.  So I went back to my desk & anytime I laughed or moved there was leaking going on down there.  So I began to think my water might have broke so finally around 4:15 I called my doctor & told them that either I have no control over my bladder or my water broke so they told me to go to the hospital & the doctor will check to see what's going on.  I was starting to get these tighting feelings (contractions) in my stomach, but it didn't hurt & I thought I was imagining it.  So I told work I think my water broke & left at 4:30pm.  It was a rainy crappy day out & by this time traffic was horrible.  It would take probably 20-25 minutes w/o rush hour to get to the hospital.  In the mean time I was calling my parents to go relieve the sitter & get the twins.  I told my husband to meet me at the hospital.  Everyone was freaking out b/c I was driving myself.  I figured by the time someone came to pick me up & drive all the way back to the hospital it would be longer then me just taking myself.  So I was having contractions the whole way there & traffic was stopped.  I finally arrived at the hospital alittle after 6pm & was admitted to L&D triage.  My OB was on vacation so I had a fill in & he went to swab me to see if it was my water, but once he looked he said there was definitely no doubt my water broke.  They never checked me for dialation since I had to have a C-section, I wish they would have so I knew where I was at.  Anyways we had to wait for a OR to become available & then at 9:28pm on Monday, September 26, 2011 Jake Christopher entered the world (via c-section) weighing 8lbs 9oz & 20".  I cried.  I did have my tubes tied & so it took longer before I could hold him, but I couldn't wait & to be able to breastfeed him.  Here are some pictures..

Jake Christopher 

My first glance at our "surprise"

 Addi meets her baby brother

 Joe meets his little brother & hugs him

 The twins & their baby brother

 Addi & Jake 1 month old

 Joey & Jake 1 month



It's been awhile...

Wow, I haven't realized that it's been almost a month since I updated.  Nothing new is really going on just taking it day by day & praying that this baby comes soon.  I'm 36 weeks 4 days today & I have a doctor appointment this afternoon.  I'm really getting sick of these appointments, UGH... They are so pointless to find out I'm getting fatter & fatter week by week.  The only thing I really like about these appointments are hearing his heartbeat & knowing that everything is still OK.  Tomorrow I have another ultrasound, because at the last one they found out that I have a One umblical Artery so they want to watch his growth & that.  Other then that he seems to be doing very well.  I am physically/mentally exhausted & my body hurts like it hasn't hurt before.  I have a really bad case of insomnia & it's not that I'm uncomfortable or constantly getting up to use the bathroom I fall asleep pretty easiely & then w/i an hour or so I'm up & I just wake up & lay there & cannot go to sleep.  This is worse then gettting up to feed/diaper a baby. 

So we've recently tried moving Addi into her brothers room & it was a BIG FAT FAIL.  So currently she is back in her room.  Joey is getting use to his new bed, but he's been having issues w/ getting up very, very early & by early I'm talking 4:15am.  We have to try putting Addi & Joey together again b/c I really don't want the baby to share a room w/ one of them & constantly wake them up when he gets up.  I just don't knwo what to do, I'm lost......  Chris wants to put the crib in the hallway but b/c of the dogs/cat & noise I really don't want him in the hall & then there'd be no room to get around.  Then since he'd end up being right in front of the twins doors wouldn't he wake them up when he cries?!?!?!?!!?!  The first month he will be in a bassinet in our room, but after that I don't know what to do.  His clothes are still in a box even though I washed & folded them a week ago.  I don't know where to put them, yet.  UGH, I'm so unorganized & tired. 

Well anyways I'm just done, I'm finished w/ being pregnant I'm finished w/ being so exhausted & sore. I'm very, very close to throwing the towel in.  I don't know what to do anymore.

So overwhelmed...

Ugh, is all that I can say!!  I am so exhausted and I know I have little time left till the baby gets here so I have so much to do & so little time & absolultely no help & add my responsiblities to the twins. I just really wish my husband could help me more instead of just worrying about drinking & sleeping all the time.  I just get so overwhelmed w/ what I've gotta do.  My house is so nasty disgusting & he doesn't help do anything there is so much that I need to do cleaning wise but I don't have the energy to do it nor can I b/c I have to watch the twins.  If only he understood that's why I'm sooo stressed out right now.  I just need more help in getting stuff done.  Our house is falling apart b/c he cannot take the time to fix something when it breaks so it sits & then something else breaks & it's an on going thing & they all pile up & now there is so much that needs to be done & he doesn't want to do it.  I'm going to have to start doing stuff myself.  I grew up in a clean household & I know that he didn't.  I'm pretty sure he didn't even have to clean growing up so he's use to just trashing everything.  This bothers me know just as bad as it did then.    He keeps telling me to relax well it's called help me & then I can.  Start doing alot more then  you do now to help me & I can relax. 

Ok, I have to go to bed & try to relax. 

18 month stats!

So the twins hit 18 months on 8/5/11 & went to doctor for their well check up on 8/11/11.  Everything looks great & they are both developmently doing good.  No shots this check up b/c they were a week early for the shots (yeah for mommy).  But here are their stats:

Joey - 33.75"
           28lbs

Addisyn - 31.25"
                 23lbs


As for the pregnancy it's still going strong.  I've gained 18lbs since my last appointment at 30 weeks.  I'm now going every 2 weeks to my doctor & I have an growth ultrasound next Tuesday 8/23 & I cannot wait to see him.  So I believe we've FINALLY agreed on a name Jake Christopher.  As of this weekend I've been having lots of pressure down below & I think what they call Braxton Hicks contraction (never had them w/ the twins so I don't know).  Baby Jake has been moving almost non-stop for two days.  I go to the doctor tomorrow so we'll see how things are.  I've been just feeling alittle "strange". I'm so ready to not be pregnant anymore & finally meet baby Jake.  Maybe enjoy alittle bit of the rest of summer.  I'm so down w/ being pregnant.  I had a very, very uncomfortable night last night. 

Well I'll try to keep you posted on my upcoming appointments & the arrival of baby Jake.  I just cannot wait for the twins to meet him & see how they react.

Exhausted

I just want to say I'm to the point of pure exhaustion... I'm so damn tired.  I again didn't  sleep well last night this makes 3 days in a row of having a hard time falling asleep & then staying asleep once I do.  UGH, I just want to SLEEP again.  If this is how it's going to go the rest of the pregnancy then I know I'm in for it b/c then it'll be a few months w/ the baby before I'm sleeping thru the night (STTN). 

On a brighter note: we've made it a week w/ the twins in their big boy/girl beds.  Whoo Hoo.  They have done excellent so far & I'm so proud of them.  I kinda really hate saying anything about it b/c I'm affraid of jinxing myself.

RLS Sucks

OMG, I swear my legs want to run off somewhere w/o me.  I'm sitting here on the recliner & my legs are just feel so restless.  I cannot get them to just relax & feel comfortable.  I had this same thing w/ the twins & I remember it's on thing I hated.  I don't understand why it doesn't bother me at work though when I'm just sitting at my desk.  Oh well nothing I can do.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4580385_restless-leg-syndrome-during-pregnancy.html

Well tomorrow I'll be 28 weeks.  Whoo Hoo the end is near, thankfully but i'm not sure if I'm really for the baby to show up & all that hard work all over again.  OMG, I'm so nervous to be a new mom all over again & this time around to have two one year old toddlers running around so it's not like when they were newborn I could sleep when they slept during the day.  Nope b/c when this baby sleeps I'll be playing w/ the twins & I highly doubt that when the twins nap he's going to nap too b/c that'll be to goo to be true.  Well see how it works, I'm sure it'll be fine & everything will work out as it should just like w/ the twins.  I was so nervous bringing them home.  Not only was I never a mom before but I had to be a mom to two new babies & not just one. 

27w6d

Well went to the doctor last Tuesday 7/5/11 & thankfully I passed the glucose test, Whoo Hoo.. Thank you.  I'm really surprised b/c of how overweight I am to begin w/.  I've gained almost 20lbs in 5 weeks, so I've gained a total of 10lbs this pregnancy.  I personally think that's alot of weight in just alittle over a month, but the doc wasn't concerned.  So other then that I'm doing ok still w/ the pregnancy.  The weather has been really hot & humid out which I LOVE, but it hit me really hard yesterday, I felt so completely exhausted & weak.  So this weather for the first time in my life is starting to bother me.  Alot of things are starting to get harder on me. 

Ok as for the twins we officially converted their cribs into toddler day beds on Sunday night so tonight marks the 4th night & so far all is good (fingers crossed I don't want to jinx myself tonight) even the naps have been good.

Addi's bed

Joey's bed

So since they have been doing so good I don't understand why I feel like such a horrible mom for changing thier cribs already.  Why do I constantly feel like crying (maybe the hormones, who knows).  So the next move will be in early September to move Addi's bed into Joey's room so when the baby comes he will be in his own room until he is sleeping thru the night & then Addi will go back into her room & Joey & the baby will share a room.  I am seperating them for now b/c I don't want the baby waking up Joey in the middle of the night.  Then our next adventure will be to start trying to potty train towards the end of this year.  We're going to "try" & if it doesn't work we just stop & try again later.  i'm not going to force them into it if they are not ready but it'd be awesome to have them out of daipers by the time they are two & I know it'll be a miracle too.  LOL.

Ok as for me I'm really, really highly upset w/ my weight & that I ever let myself get to this point after all that hard work I went thru years ago to lose 65-70lbs.  What really hurt me was last night I was walking accross the street b/c my hubby & kids were in the neighbors pool & a car driving by on the other street yelled out "Shamu" & that really, really hurt me really bad.  I couldn't help but cry last night & everytime I think about it b/c Im so fricken fat & there is noone to blame but myself.  I know I gained alot of weight w/ the twins but I had a year before I got pregnant again & I could have al least lost 50lbs w/i that time.  I had no excuse.  Why wait till January to start Weight Watchers again & doing great only to get pregnant that same month.  I told myself this time around I'm going to join WW right away & start a diet as soon as the baby is born.  I'm going to start running agian as soon as I get the A-OK from my OB.  I am not going to wait a year to start getting in shape.  I'm probably 130 lbs over weight right now & that is totally embarrassing to think that.  I am feeling that my hubby doesn't even love me or even find me attractive at all b/c he never tells me I look nice in years or slap my ass in a playful way or say anything to make me think he's still attractive to me like he use to always do it before I got FAT as Shamu.....  I'm disgusted, embarrassed, sick.....  I look at myself & I totally don't blame hubby for not being attracted to me I'm very disgusting looking w/ all my fat rolls everywhere.  I don't even like going anywhere b/c I'm so nasty looking.  I really want to feel the way I did years ago.  I was in shape & happy & healthy.  If I don't changed something soon my health is going to get really bad.  I need to change things NOW w/ my eating & then later (after baby) w/ my workouts & diet. 

Well gotta go I had to tell how I was feeling after that Shamu comment b/c It's really, really bothering me & I cannot get it off my mind. 

25 weeks 4 days pregnant

Ok, I'm going to try this again & hopefully it posts. 

I went in this morning for my hour glucose screening.  Hoping to not recieve the dreaded call that I failed & then have to go back for the 3 hours test. 

Here is alittle update on what's been going on so far:

I went in for a follow-up anatomy scan on Thrusday 6/23 (24w6d) and the baby is doing great. He's healthy & seems happy & weighing in at a whopping 1 lb 15 oz.  The OB that's taking care of all my screening thinks that baby is growing to big.  He's still measuring alittle over 5 days ahead.  The doctor came in after my U/S & said " so I'm going to guess you've gained about 15lbs so far this pregnancy!" My reply "No, I've actually lost about 10 according to my last doctor appt." He said then he beleives that I'm probably feeding the wrong foods to the baby.  He said we'll wait till you get the glucose test done & wants me back in 9 weeks to see how much the baby weighs then.  Ok, from what I've read an average weight for a fetus at 25 weeks is about a pound & a half so mine really isn't that far off?!?!??! I'm just confused & now I'm somewhat scared & worried that my baby will get way to big & that won't be healthy for him.  I also feel alittle horrible if I am feeding the baby wrong.  Anyways I go to my regular OB next Tuesday 7/5 for my monthly exam so we'll see if I have yet gained any weight (I feel like I have this past 5 weeks) & I'll bring up some of the concerns form the other doctor & see what he thinks. 

Oh & here is a picture from the ulrasound 6/23/11

Well this weekend is the Holiday weekend & my favorite one at that.  Friday after work we'll be going to the Islands up to the trailor for the night & then heading home late Saturday night.  Then on Sunday we'll be heading South to a family picnic for the whole day (2.5 hour drive), which I cannot wait to see family again.  I think that on Monday the actually 4th of July is going to be a relaxing day except maybe see fireworks later that day.  Then prepare for a 1/2 day at work on Tuesday then my monthly doctor appt.

Happy 4th of July :)

UGH

I just posted a very long updated & the computer didn't save if & when I hit publish post all was lost so I'll have to come back & update my blog later when I get another second.

A new day!!

Well even though it's a new day I still feel like shit.  I'm just feeling so bummed out & really depressed.  I just want to hide for a bit.

Joey was very cranky today from the moment I was carrying him down the stairs.  He was just whinning over nothing.  I felt like I was about to lose it.  Addi wasn't any better w/ her crying.  I really hate when my morning start off like that.  I already don't have enough time to myself before work & when something between the twins or the dogs don't go right & throw me off my morning routine then forget it.  Chris on the other hand went back to bed so i have no idea what the heck is up w/ him. 

Joey is now at the point where he can reach the top drawers in the kitchen & those hold all the dangerous items that he doesn't need to be playing w/.  I have bought & been asking the hubby to please install the child safety on them for MONTHS & he hasn't done it, b/c sleeping & drinking are more important then his kids safety.  Whatever, I guess I'm going to have to try to do it myself this weekend.  Just like everything else around this house.  I'm just so frustrated & sometimes just feel like giving up, but don't worry I won't ever do that to my children, they definitely need a mom.  Is it just horrible that sometimes I wish that something bad (but not that bad just bad enough to hurt, but get fixed) would happen to my hubby so he'd wake up and realize he needs to stop drinking every weekend to the point he's wasted & keeps screwing things up.  Like he has been saying his stomach hurts & last night I thought it was just a way to try to get sympathy from me so he can go lay down, but he took off today b/c of it & I'm secretly wish that it's b/c of his drinking & taking pain pills while drinking is finally screwed up his stomach.  But I only want it to the point where he will get better w/ doctor care & finally taking responsibility for his family.  I hate thnking this way but I cannot help it.  I also sometimes hope that something happens to me where I'm put in the hospital for a few days (but nothing serious for the baby nor me) just so he can see what it's like to be left alone w/ having to do everything himself w/ no help. This is the most horrible way of thinking ever & I really don't want to be away from the twins I'm already dreading having to stay in the hospital after this baby is born. 

Well I guess I better get going.  I've got alot of thinking to do.  On a good note.. .. I get to see baby Jacob again on Thursday at my ultrasound.  Whoo Hoo, just hope all is still going great.

Update & Rough times!!

I have been so horrible about keeping this up-to-date & I want to beat myself up over it.  Well here is what's happened so far. 

I'm currently 24 weeks 3 days pregnant & it's been a great pregnancy so far as in no complications.  We've found out we're having a little boy & we'll be naming him Jacob Christopher.  I kinda really wish I can get my hubby off of that name b/c to many people are starting to name their sons Jacob & I'd like to go w/ another name.  I really like Brayson or Zachery, but he's stuck on Jacob.  I'm going back for a repeat anatomy scan this Thursday 6/23 so they can get a look at his heart & facial features b/c he was hiding his face.  Also I have not gained a pound yet this pregnancy I've actually lost almost 12 lbs, but I'm pretty sure I've probably made that up in the last couple weeks b/c I've been so very hungry & eating so much bad food. 

The twins are doing awesome & growing up every day which is very depressing, but exciting at the same time.  They are running around everywhere & saying more words everyday.  I just taught then how to do "More" in sign laungage & they look so cute doing it.  Addisyn can say "Bye, Bye", "Hot", "kitty cat" clearly & we're working on more words.  Joseph on the other hand has said a few words "car", "dog", "Grandma" & a few others but he doesn't say them on a regular bases like Addi does. 

On to other things.... Life is really hard right now & I'm really not sure if it's just b/c I'm pregnant & over reaacting or if it's just the frustrating really starting to come out.  I just wish my hubby would grow up alittle more and realize that drinking to get drunk every single weekend just isn't an opition anymore b/c we are not single, college kids anymore.  Right now I'm at a point were chasing two one year old around w/ a big ole belly isn't getting easier it's actually getting harder as the weeks tick away.  I really don't know what to do & I cannot say anything b/c then I'm nagging or being a bitch or whatever else he says to me.  All I want is just alittle more help around the house & w/ the kids & w/o me having to ask him over & over again for help.  It's just not fair that he's gotten so many weekends away w/ the guys while I haven't had one, not one since they were born, but he doesn't understand why not.  Most of my close friends have all grown up & are pregnant or have childern & are married, so it's harder to get out w/ them for a couple hours at night let alone a weekend or over night.  Then he gets all pissed off & yells at me or cuses & swears at me b/c then I'm not being fair.  How much more fair can I get, seriously?  I'm just getting more tired & exhausted as the days go by b/c I have to do everything. 

Example today hubby sleeps in & goes into work later & then comes home & all he wants to do is go to sleep b/c supposely his stomach hurts (a bullshit line to make me feel bad for him) but I can never feel ill... I tell him no just wait & help me for the last hour then we'll put the twins to bed & then he can go to bed.. No all hell broke loose right in front of the twins, he started swearing at me telling me he never gets a break (HELLO, what about me)???  Finally I get so upset & didn't want to look at him anymore.  I just feel like a single parent.  I even have to do all the house work b/c he's so damn lazy.  He is always drinking & going out w/ friends on the weekend & then sleeping all the next day leaving me w/ everything to do.

I feel so completely like a horrible mom.  I'm constantly yelling at the twins & get so very mad at them & for really no reason.  Then I feel completely horrible.  I don't know why I do this & if it's my hormones or what's wrong w/ me, I don't like acting & screeming like this in front of my poor babies.  I think I need help or maybe I really need a break some time alone to relax.  I'm over doing it & just so tired.  Even when we go to the trailor for the weekend it's ME that gets stuck doing everything b/c his friends want him to do this or that & he sits & drinks so I don't get to relax.  I just get the feeling he doesn't like to be around me anymore b/c I've turned into a bitch.  I wouldn't want to be w/ myself, but he needs to wake up & help me more & Let me take breaks w/o feeling guilty about it.

I really don't know where our relationship is going.  We yell at each other all the time & things just are not the same for us.  Alot has changed & hubby just doesn't show any emotion or show that he even cares about me.  I'm sick of all this negativity around the twins b/c it's not good for them or me or anyone.  My one dream was to raise my family in a loving home & w/ a dad that loved being w/ his children & put his family first before his friends, not 2nd or 3rd like we are now.  I really, really don't know what to do. 

Then bring on my job it's a joke in itself & I want out so bad but I suck & do not have any degree so I'm stupid & stuck in a ignorant job.  Hubby doesn't (won't) let me leave the City, but the only way is if I can get paid better somewhere else.  He really doesn't understand it's so stressful & hard & tiring on me.  I need to go, NOW!!!!  My talents are being wasted.  I really, really hope I can stay home w/ the children after I have this baby. 

I'm really stuck in a rough spot & very, very depressed & stressed out & very tired.  I need answers I need to know what to do.  I'm stuck!!!  Please let things turn?!!?!?!??!?!?

Here are some new photo's.

Addi ~posing at the pool.

Joey, Mommy & Addi on our boat.

Long day at the Zoo, holding hands.

Giving his sister a ride.

Not feeling it today....

So it's Thursday & DH is suppose to go put the boat in the water tomorrow & then stay at the camper till Sunday.  I'm just not ready for all the stress of being at home alone taking care of two dogs & twins by myself. I really don't need this w/ being pregnant, but I don't think DH gets that I'm pregnant & need help w/ things right now.  Anyways he calls me today & wants to go down there tonight.  WTH?!?!!?!?  To me it feels that he doesn't wanna be w/ or around the twins & I or something.  Whatever.  I know I have gained lots & lots of weight & I'm very, very, very unattractive right now.  After this pregnancy I am going to TRY really hard after this pregnancy to loose at least 75lbs by next summer 2012 to start w/.  I just need support.  Yes, I'm very uncomfortable w/ myself right now & that's the reason why I didn't want to go anywhere since the twins were born b/c I'm uncomfortable w/ myself & being in public. 

Anyways, I'm trying really hard not to stress over this & to just make do w/ the twins this weekend & have fun w/ them.  I just hate it so much, but then when he's home it is not any different b/c he's either going out w/ friend & then to hung over the next day or sleep all day.  We don't do much fun & my house is the nastiest mess I've seen it in a long time.  I need help cleaning but he wont help.  I do so  much by myself. 

Ok, i'm feeling bad for going on & on but I had to get that off of my chest.  Since I'm too embarrassed to say anything to anyone else. 

Anywho, I'm going to take my dad & the twins to dinner tomorrow night so I'm excited.  Then I just have to figure out what to do Saturday & Sunday so we don't have to sit around the house all day.

Trip to the Zoo

Here is a new picture of the twins... I absolutely love this picture it's my favorite.  On Sunday DH & I took them to the Zoo for the first time & it totally exhausted them out.  They fell asleep & look at how I found them holding hands. 

14 1/2 weeks

So sorry I haven't updated in a while, but life is a bit kaotic right now.  The twins are walking so I'm staying very busy & especially w/ nice weather coming up. 

Anyways, I'm 14.5 weeks now & I got to see the little peanut a few weeks ago & it was of course amazing.  I went in for the integrated screening (http://www.questdiagnostics.com/hcp/intguide/jsp/showintguidepage.jsp?fn=Genetics/Prenatal/TS_Integrated_Screen.htm)  and everything so far came back normal.  I go again for the anatomy scan (2nd part of test) on May 12th at 9am, so we'll offically find out what we are having then unless I get an ultrasound thru my OB before then.  I'm so excited.  I have a feeling it's a boy & I keep refering to the peanut as a boy.  Anyway so far everything looks good, I got to hear the HB last week & It was music to my ears.  I go for my next appt May 5th.  So far this pregnancy I've lost 1 lb.  I'm not trying to loose weight (even though I can afford it) but I don't need to gain to much since I'm already a lard butt. 

It still doesn't feel like I'm pregnant for real yet, but I am getting scared on how hard it's going to be with 3 under 2.  I do look at it as a complete & total blessing & a reason behind it after all the fertility struggles that DH & I went thru to get to the position we're at today it just amazing.  I feel truly blessed for this little surprise. 

The twins are doing amazing & are truly amazing me every day. With their walking, trying to talk & just it's something new every day & that's the best.  I am so totally in love w/ them. 

Well that's it for now.  I hope I can remember to update this more especially since I want to keep a blog of this pregnancy since I missed the twins pregnancy. 

Update

Wow, I haven't written in here in a while.  I just barely have time.  Well I went to my 1st doctor appt on Tuesday 3/8 & I was alittle upset that since I was 9.5 weeks I thought forsure he would listen for a heartbeat.  All he did was just a normal first exam & then went over stuff.  So we still don't know if there is more then one in there, even though my gut tells me just one.  Well my next appt is Tuesday 4/5.  I normally wouldn't be getting an ultrasound until 18weeks, but DH & I decided to get the Integrated Screen done which you have to get an indebt ultrasound & blood work in the 1st trimester so I go on 3/25 for the u/s. Then blood work in the 2nd trimester.  They are screening for Down's, Tris 18 & NTD. 

As for me & how I've been feeling it's up in the air.  I'm not eating much b/c I don't have an appitite, but I know that will change & alot of stuff still makes me nauesous.  I think I hurt my back b/c it's been hurting so bad the past several weeks & only getting worse.  Since I've had to prior back injuries & two surgeries I know when my back just isn't at the point of "oh it'll heal w/ time".  I've noticed my left hip sticks out more & my right leg feels like it's shorter then my left.  So I think I'm out of alignment.  Anyways I called a back doctor & I go see him on 3/24. 

As for the twins they are getting bigger & faster everyday.  Joey just got over Roseloa which Addi had about a month ago.  Addi has had Diarrhea for a week now & I took her in to the doctor yesterday & they think it's a virus causing the diarrhea which is giving her a nasty diaper rash that was blistering & bleeding.  They also said she is just getting over a double ear infection b/c both of her ears of fluid in them, they didn't give anything for that b/c it was at the ending stage.  They will just check her ears again at their 15 month well check up.  They took her off of milk & 100% juice (I don't give them juice anyways they get water & milk) until the diarrhea goes away & when I introduce the milk back in I'll see if the diarrhea comes back & then we'll know it was that. 

Well I better get to work. 

Co-Irkers

Sometimes my one coworker really makes me want to throw up.  There is this lady that I swear to you either bi-polar or parinoid schizophrenic & forget to take her meds everyday or needs to be put on meds.  I have never worked w/ anyone that has lived a very parinoid life.  Everything that anyone does is always out to get her some way or another.  You don't even have to be talking to her or about her & then all of sudden she'll start going crazy b/c everyone is out to get her.   UGH, she makes coming to work HELL everyday.  To add to it she doesn't have any work to do so she gets one my nerves even more & it gives her more time to sit & get more parinoid over things. 

Anywho.... I need to stop stressing.  I need this pregnancy to be stress free not like my last.  She had me so pissed that I started getting cramps & we don't want problems because of a crazy bitch. 

So I turned 6 weeks last Friday 2/11 (whoo Hoo) coming along week by week very slowly but making progress.  Yesterday & today I've been feeling very nauseous to the point that I wanna throw up.  My lower back has been killing me but I've been taking tylenol for that (which personally I do not like doing).  So other then that, thats been about it. 

As for the twins Addie has started walking more but it's still not a constant thing, but she's making progess & she just laughs like crazy when she does walk.  It's too cute.  Joey has become an expert walker now.  Saturday we took them for blood work & that has to be the worst thing to do to a child.  I took Addie back for hers and she  cried & screamed & just the look in her eyes was so heart breaking.  She kept trying to grab me w/ her other hand & I felt so helpless.  I made DH take Joey in to get his & I heard him crying & screaming from the waiting room which make me want to cry.  But we all made it thru it & no one to their 1 year appointment this Thursday 2/17, which will be more crying w/ the shots they'll be getting.  But the shots aren't so bad b/c it's one stick & their done but w/ the blood drawls the lady had to move the needle around in their arms to find that vein & I know how that sometimes hurts me & I'm not even phased by needles. 

Oh........ HAPPY VALENTINES DAY......

Offically 1 years old!!! :-(

Well it's offical the twins are one!!!  It's so sad, but exciting.  The birthday party was a hit & they did great.  It was a very exhausting day for them & also for momma!  More & more they are growing up every day.  I cannnot get enough of just sitting there watching them & watching them mature. 

So here are a couple pictures from the birthday party. 

5w today ~a bit anxious

I know I'm only 5w exactly & I'm still nervious as hell that something isn't going to go right.  I constantly am runing to the bathroom & not just to pee but to check to see if I'm bleeding.  I'm so scared of losing this pregnancy b/c it's still odd that I got pregnant w/o the doctor's help, it just doesn't seem real. 

So far today the things I've been feeling different are sore boobs but mostly only when I touch them & adversion to food, I really haven't been eating like I probably should be.  I have lost interest in my morning coffee's.  By the end of the day I feel so bloated & like I want to explode & I cannot get a solid night of sleep & it's not b/c I'm up going to the bathroom all night b/c I haven't experienced that yet, but I'll wake up every hour on the hour & sometimes I'll fall right back to sleep but others I'll just lay there & cannot sleep.  Last night was alittle better I didn't get up every hour.  I also noticed I've already started snoring & so loud that I to wake myself up & my throat is sore.  A weird symptom I'm surprise I'm already experiencing is my legs/claves/thighs/butt/hips/love handles all feel like they have bruises really bad.  They are sore when I touch them almost like my boobs are.  I have been having major mood swings & I totally feel back for the twins & DH. 

Ugh this wait till 3/8 is going to be a long one that is my first appointment.

So I have lots to do this weekend as of 5pm tonight I'm going to be running around like crazy getting things ready for the twins B-day party tomorrow & then Super Bowl on Sunday. 

Still dumbfounded!!

I still cannot come to terms that we are pregnant again!!! I never thought this would be possible especially with what we had to go thru last time.  I will say we are truly double blessed for a second time.  There must be a reason.  I constantly still am checking to make sure I haven't started my period b/c at some points it feels like I might have, but (thankfully) we're still going strong.  I really hope that this is a healthy pregnancy & nothing goes wrong b/c this IS my last chance.  I will be 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow & though I'm still very, very early I'm praying it holds.  I have accepted that I'm pregnant & we're happy now.  I don't go to see my OB until 3/8, which is going to kill me to wait that long.  It's not like last time when we were on fertility drugs & IUI's so we were being very closely monitored & got lots of U/S.   We are just hoping that it's one very healthy baby in there.

So far I've been nauesous & lost interest in food (haven't been eating much, but I'm trying to eat healthy b/c I don't need to gain any weight, I'm over weight still) my boobs just started getting sore & just yesterday my legs/thighs/hips/butt/back feel like they have bruises all over them when I touch them. 

Tonight we are going to look at two different vehicles the KIA Seronto & GMC Terrain we need something that will fit 3 car seats.  I liked the KIA w/ the 3rd row seat, but there is no room for storage.  I haven't look at the Terrain yet but they don't offer a 3rd row so the seats will have to fit across the back.  We'll see what happens.

So for the twins they are doing great.  Joey's still walking & Addi is not she actually walks on her knees, it's kinda cute.  We are getting ready for the 1st birthday party this weekend, I've got lots to do in the next 3 days.  Then Sunday is Super Bowl & I'm so very excited that my team is in it. 

GOOoooooooooooooooo

It's offical

The doctor called this morning & the blood test came back positive, so we are offically pregnant.  I will post more tomorrow, b/c I gotta run it's time to go home. 

OMG BFP!!!!!

I am shocked, scared, nervous... After 2 years of trying to get pregnant on our own the 1st time & then finally having to go medically get assistance we got pregnant & now this?!?!?! Holy cow.  If this is true & this takes then the EDD will be October 7 which is a day before our anniversary. 

TGIF!!

I am so truly happy it's Friday (finally).  We so far this week this is what happened last weekend poor Addi girl got a fever starting last Friday afternoon & did not let up until Monday afternoon.  Saturday night I was awaken at 2am by Addi & she was burning up I took her temp & It was up to 105.1.  I didn't know what to do for the poor girl.  We called the doc, but they never called back.  I gave her meds & then just held her in my bed & rocked her for a bit & then layed her back in her crib & she went back to sleep, but mommy didn't b/c I couldn't help sitting there thinking I should take her to the ER.  I ended up taking her into the ER on Sunday night b/c her temps were 103 & above.  The ER was ridiculous!!! They took a urine sample & checked her ear & throat & said she was fine (go figure at that time she didn't have a temp b/c I just gave her meds) ok I understand that but the reason I brought her in was b/c she was not drinking & I was terrified of dehydration.  Whatever, took her home & she went to bed.  Monday morning she woke up w/ a fever of 103.6 & I went to work & DH called the doctor & they wanted us to bring her in so I left early & took her in & go figure by that time her fever was gone & when they took it, it was 97.4 (rectal), WTH but I was relieved, but kinda made me feel like I was making it all up.   So we go home & she didn't get another fever since Monday morning.  Tuesday the Nanny calls to tell me she's got a rash all over her, so it confirms what I that it could have been Roseola, as of today her rash is 95% gone now we just pray that Joey doesn't get it or if he's going to please get it before his birthday party next Saturday. 

Well I turned another year older (36) on Tuesday 1/25, happy birthday to me... bah hum bug. LOL.  So I've been doing weight watchers for 2.5 weeks now & when I went to my meeting Tuesday 1/25 I lost 4.4lbs for a total of 5lbs in two weeks.. Yeah me, way to go. 

Well that's about it for the week.  This weekend we have to clean house & I mean clean.  We're having the twins 1st birthday party at our house & it's going to be on their actual birthday 2/5.  My sister has volunteered to watch them at her house tomorrow for a few hours so we can clean.  So other then cleaning this weekend that's my only plans.  Oh & hoping AF shows up here... or we might have 3 under two soon.  My AF is acutally due today I'm at CD29.  I think DH might go nuts.

New Year New Me

Ok, so I've had enough... I went & joined weight watchers on 1/11/11.  I cannot believe how much I weigh.  I am seriously only about less then 10lbs from where I was when I was 9 months pregnant w/ twins.  This is just disgusting.  So anyways I went to my meeting yesterday 1/18 and I only lost .6 lbs, not even a full damn pound.. WTF! Anyways in a way it is my fault b/c I did kinda bad w/  my eating and keeping track of the points b/c I didn't have access to their website or a book of how much the points are worth.  Well I am officially a member & now I have access so I have no excuse to not know the correct pointsplus value of whatever I am eating.  I WILL do better this week & I am going to start going to the gym again, just have to figure out when.  I am thinking Monday morning I'll start fresh.

Anywho on to the twins! I finally got their birthday invites in the mail today, yes today.  I am so horrible.  I have to start thinking about things I want to get for the party.  We decided to have it at our house & invited about 25 people on their actual birthday 2/5.  I just have to figure out what I'm going to do.  I will have to admitt I am so bad when it comes to organizing parties & I feel sorry for my kids b/c of this.  I know they will only be a year & won't remember anything, but I want it to be a fantastic one.  I'm so affraid that noone will show up or I won't have anything done.  I have ALOT to do in the next 17 days.

Ok so on to planning.....

Oh & Joey is offically walking..

Happy New Year 2011

Well it's the start of a new year!!!!  My year has actually been crap so far, but that's another story in itself.  Well the ending to 2010 I was greated w/ oh so great AF on 12/31.  We had alot of fun went to a neighbors house w/ the twins & they enjoyed their first new years eve, but I ended up putting them in the spare bedroom & they fell asleep which I really don't know how they slept w/ all the noise, but they are my little perfect angels.  Anyways I had way to much fun I drank a bottle of wine by myself & did a shot & yeah I ended up paying for it the next day.  I couldn't keep anything down Saturday morning not even water it was coming from both ends (sorry TMI).  I know now why I don't miss hang overs, b/c it's been a long time since I've had one like that & I don't want another one EVER (it's not worth it).  Plus having to take care of the twins by myself that morning wasn't easy.  So w/ that said, I'm done drinking like that....

Well........the twins will be 11 months old tomorrow 1/5/11. OMG, I cannot believe it they will be a year in a month.  Where in the heck did the time go?  I already really, really miss the way they were when they were born.  I really need to decide what were going to do for the birthday, the clock is ticking on this now.  2010 was the best year of my life b/c my little miracles entered my world & changed my whole life around.  I love them more & more every day I see them.