September Already :-(

Well my littlest man will offically be one on 9/26/12 & it's a sad, sad occasion (for momma) only b/c he's growing up so quickly & he's my last baby....  His party will be 9/22/12.  He's grown up much faster then the twins did (so it seems).  He's been walking since 9 months & he no longer has a bottle, I stopped that a month sooner then I planned b/c I happened to run out of formula when he turned 11 months & just decided (with the knowledge of my mom).  My next goal is to get the paci away from him before he turns one & this is going to be the hard one.  He only uses it at bedtimes, but it's going to be hard & lack of sleep for a few days.  Anyways, that's about it for Jake but here is a updated picture of him.

Jake & Addi

 Jake & Addi @ the Zoo

 Here is my wonderful Trio.... Jake, Joe & Addi

So as for the twins Addisyn will be starting preschool this Thursday.  Joey will not b/c he is not potty trained.  It was a rough decision to make about either making Addi wait till Joey was potty trained, or letting her start before him since she's been trained since April.  Then how is it fair to punish Addi b/c Joey doesn't have any interest in going potty. We'll see how it goes.  That's really about all on updates or anything really new for them. 

So on another note I really don't know what's wrong with me.  I feel so very depressed in a very bad way.  I sometimes take it out on the twins b/c they frustrate me to no end w/ not listening to me AT ALL.  They make me have to serisouly scream at the top of my lungs to get them to do something.  Then I start crying b/c I don't want to be like that.  I also really don't think my husband loves me like he use to.  He shows no sign of it & I feel like we are very distance lately.  Then I think it might be all my fault.  I'm so super stressed out & it's leaving me bitter (as he puts it).  I think I've been very negative about everything.  I cry at a drop of the hat.  I told Chris people seem to be rubbing me the wrong way from the trailer & I even told him I just don't know why & his reply as the loving supportive husband he is was " You're just weird" & he didn't say that joking he was serious.  I can't even talk to my husband about what's been going on with me & how I'm feeling.  He has no sympathic bone in his body & I'll be lucky if he even listens.  I just need someone to hear me & tell me it'll be OK & everything will get better & help me thru this stage.  I want to stop being the person I am now.... I want my old self back.  Then add to it my fat disgusting body & that makes everything worse.  I have nothing nice to wear & my clothing all resemebles a very fat person of just stretch pants & fat tops.  I want to change so bad.  I've been working out on my treadmill, but after all the hard work I gained 8lbs within 3 weeks... Seriously WTF, 8 lbs that's about 2.5 lbs a week?!?!??!?!?! I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life.  I'm literally 100lbs over weight & I HATE it.  My husband HATES me & isn't the slightest attracted to me anymore.  I need him to listen to my issues & don't make fun of me & HELP ME thru this so he & my kids can get the wife/mom that I really am.  I've been the worst mom ever lately & I'm sure all my kids hate me.   Oh well I have to stop crying so I'm ending here.  I NEED HELP & I just don't know who to talk too....

What is wrong

I really don't understand what is going on with me & why I'm feeling the way I do.  I cannot get out of my head how much of a nuisance I've been feeling lately to everyone.  I just feel like My three kids & I are so much of a bother to everyone.  We don't get invited to much anymore & it hurts my feelings so much.  I cannot even recall when was the last time I went out with one of my girlfriends just to have dinner or drinks.  I'm just really getting to the point where I absolutely love, love, love my children & wouldn't change the world for them but my life sucks in all other aspects.  I just feel so lost & like I'm stuck in a rut & I feel so horrible for my kids b/c I just feel like I'm the worst mom ever & I'm not creative so we do the same thing over & over again. 

Anyways, I'm exhausted & should probably go to bed. 

Can't think of a good topic!!

I really just don't even know where to start.  I'm just so frustrated & exhausted beyond the point of speachless. 

Even though I am extremely happy with my life in the aspect of my children, I am to the point of hating it for everything else. I am now realizing that I married someone that is completely not the romantic type at all.  His father is the same way, but I did't see that till after marring him.  I should have known it runs in the family.  I am the oppisite I feed off of romance, it fuels me.  He is also so stuck on himself.  He won't even put anything down for his children.  Example I am so upset... Today I took the kids to Touch a Truck sponsered by our Cleveland Metro Parks which my Mom & Tots groups was meeting up at, but I was really hoping that Chris would want to go b/c this is a great experience for our children.  He wanted nothing to do with it.  He just wanted to stay home & lay on the couch.  I told him come on this is for the kids, do it for the kids.  He only likes going to things that will benefit him too, he's gotta get over that & realize it's not about him anymore.  I personally cannot even recall when I did something for me & not my children.  Then to make matters worse as I was pulling off Joey was screaming in the back "Mom, don't go you have to wait for daddy." over & over & over.  He told me to go home.  How am I suppose to explain that his dad doesn't want to be with us w/o making Chris look bad in front of his kids.  It's just so heart breaking b/c he works all day during the week & then comes home eats dinner  & then most nights runs off to cut the grass & isn't home till after the kids go to bed.  So they see him for about 15/20 mins a day during the week.  So then today I came home exhausted after spending the day w/ three very cranky kids & after dinner all I want to do is lay on the couch just like he was, but close my eyes for 20 minutes (when all he does is sleep whenever he is home).  As soon as I tried he jumped up & said he's going outside to power wash the fish tank (he had all day when we were gone).  Really, I mean really?!?!???!?!?! WTF I just wanted 20 mins but he cannot even handle that with the kids.  THat really, really hurt.

The kids cry it's me that has to take care of them.  He honestly doesn't even try.  He walks in their rooms & walks out & says "I don't know what to do, you go in there."  Really, your their father & we both became parents at the same time so this is all new to both of us.  Just use your damn mind for a second.  He's just always in a hurry to get in bed or drink or watch TV that he won't take time out to comfort his children.  They are only young once, so please, please just show them you care!!!!!!!!!!!!  You cannot get this time back.  I'm just so tired of doing everything & being the only responsible adult here.  It's seriously exhausting & there is only so much I can handle.  How is it that I'm never allowed to be tired when I'm the one that has the broken sleep b/c I get up with the kids whenever they have a bad night.  It's getting to the point that I get very angry with my kids to easily & I don't like it.  I have never seen myself act like this but when I do I really scare myself.  I can go on with lots of examples, but I'll spare whoever takes the time to read this I think you get the point.

I just want Chris to wake up & become a responsible parent/husband.  Start showing me effection, shit I cannot remember the last time we actually kissed & I mean a real kiss not a peck on the lips.  I honestly think it was around our wedding.  I just wish there was something that would just wake him up to reality & stop thinking about himself & realize he has to put himself last now-a-days.  It's been so long since I've put anything for myself first.  I'm scared to death of ever leaving my kids alone with him & the really sad part is he is their father, I shouldn't be this scared. 

I really need advice, really, really.  I'm getting very depressed & just don't know what to do anymore.  I want him to show me how much I mean to him & how much his children mean to him & all the time.  Please, please, please help me understand & tell me what I should do before he ruins all he has.

I change my whole view on SAHM's.

OMG, This is much harder then I anticapated.  I sometimes wish I had a job (you know what I mean) to go to just to get a break everyday.  I don't get breaks.  Plus with three two and under, HOLY MOLY.  Plus add to the crazyness the 10 month old (Jake) now walks.  OMG, I'm in soooo much trouble. I also have to watch my eight Y.O. nephew & there are moments just like any other kids that he's as bad as the twins. 

I thought today was going to be a good day b/c it started out really good, but then after breakfast all hell broke loose.  Just from the screaming & whinning & not listening to me & having to repeat myself 100 times & they still don't listen.  Then at nap time Joey decided not to nap & he also decided to push out his screen & throw everything out his window.  I told him he is very, very lucky that he didn't fall from the upstairs window b/c he could have hurt himself really bad.  Then my little one hasn't stopped whinning all afternoon (he's napping now hence why I can type this quickly before the other three get in trouble). 

Anyways, I'm seriously thinking of finding a PT job just so I can get out of the house.  Oh, then to make matters worse I got on the scale today & I'm up 6lbs, 6 freakin pounds.  WTH is going on??? so back to taking many steps backwards but I need to move forward so starting today I ate really good.  I'm thinking of finding another gym too.

Jake

Oh my I almost forgot Jake is offically a walker!!! I'm truly in trouble now.  He is doing great for 10 months (acts much older).  He recently got tested for CFS b/c he still coughs alot here & there & they wanted to rule that out.  Thankfully he passed.  So they are back to it being asthma & he's still on singular & only the breathing machine when needed.  He's at 23lbs & about 31" (almost as tall as Addi). He's been at 23lbs for a few months now.  He's still taking 3 naps a day which the first & last one are the short ones, but the last one is starting not to happen anymore.  He's down to only 3 bottles a day 2 at 6oz & 1 at 8oz & eats three regular meals a day. He's growing up soooo fast, I cannot believe my baby & my last baby will be a year in two months :-(

Well that's really about all for Jake, here are some recent photos.

Twins Day 2012 Joey, Addi & Jake

Jake 2012

Addisyn 2012

 The twins Addi & Joe @ the trailer

 All of the loves of my life.. Joe, Addi, Jake & Chris

 Daddy & Jake



Fat girl in an athletic body!!! & smoking

UGH, this weightloss journey is beginning to SUCK.  I was doing good & now all of sudden I'm stuck.  I've gained in the last week, but I'm praying & hoping that it's just b/c my good ole friend is visiting soon & I always put on 5lbs right before that time.  I need to really start straighting up my act if I wanna be at pre-pregnancy weight by next summer.  That's Pre-twins pregnancy, I'm already lower then what I weighed before getting pregnant with Jake.  I know this is disgusting, but if I can break the 270 mark I'm going to throw a party for myself, Ha ha ha.  I get stuck at 271 all the time & have been for weeks & it gets very, very fustrated.  Oh well I have to start buckling down & getting more serious about it if I really want to get down 100 lbs very soon. 
. 
On a bright note I have stopped smoking since Monday 8/6.  I started taking Chantix on 7/30.  That stuff truly works & is AWESOME medicine, the dreams are fantastic.  I've taking this w/ Chris back in 2009 right before I got pregnant with the twins. If anyone is wondering it breaks the NEED to have one, this week I haven't craved a smoke it's more I think about what I would be doing so it's more habbit now.  I think the worst is the craving & this medicine takes that feeling away so I'm not sitting here going "OMG, I'm going to kill someone if I don't get a smoke soon."  I like that & it doesn't make me anrgy or moody either or on a short fuse.  I would recommend this to anyone that wants to stop smoking.  Thankfully my insurance covers it so it costs my only $20 a pack (thats 3 packs) but if your insurance doesn't cover it around $150 a pack, which in the long run is worth it.  So if you need all three packs it's $450 match that up to a pack of smokes a day at $7 a pack that's around $1,764 a year give or take. 

 So anywho, I see this as my first step forward, but sadly I took a few steps back on weightloss.  But you must struggle to actually suceed, right???  I will work really hard on my weightloss now & lets see where it takes us.  Hopefully there will be no more steps back..............

Until Next time!

Summer 2012

I don't even know where to start.  It's been a very busy/crazy summer.  We have spent most of our weekends at our trailer up in Marblehead just boating/swimming & drinking, but having a blast.  I attending my first Sandusky Barge Party end of June & it was ok, not really what everyone made it out to be, but I had the most fun just hanging in the water w/ all our friends back at our boat.  That was our weekend away with out kids... 

Well Jake is now 9 months & he's been taking steps for about a month now.  He's getting sooo big.  He was diagnosed with asthma & is on Singular & arbuteral (sp?).  He goes back tomorrow to see if his lungs have cleared up.  The twins have also been diagnosed w/ the beinging stage of asthma, but it seems to effect them when they get colds it goes right into their chests & that's when the problems arrise. 

The twins are still majorly in the terrible two stage & not getting better, LOL.  I'm working on trying to get Joey potty trained.  Addi is doing great w/ her potty.  She only wears a pull up at night time now (not even for naps anymore). 

Anyways, I have been truly stressed out so bad.  It is not easy taking care of 3 kids two & under & all the other mom's that do I truly envy you!!!!  I am still on Zoloft from my diagnosis of PPD, but it doesn't seem to work as well as it should. It helps me not cry at the drop of a hat but I just lose it to much.  Sometimes I just feel like the most horrible mother ever & I feel terrible for my kids.  I absolutely love them to death, but sometimes they just get me so upset that I feel like a lunatic b/c I have to yell at them at the top of my lungs.  I will admitt I am truly depressed & I do hide it to much from my friends & family.  Sometimes I wish there was someone I can truly talk to w/o feeling like an idiot exposing myself. 

Oh & for the weightloss I've been doint good but for I seem like I am stuck & just cannot get below this 270 mark.  I still have 100lbs I need to lose & this is so depressing.  I do not like getting in pictures or even looking at myself b/c I'm so disgusted I let these pregnancies get so out of hand w/ my weight.  I do go to the gym & started running again, but then I sprained my knee & was off for 3 weeks & just started getting back to the grind last week. 

Well I can go on & On about this summer, but since I finally have a chance to get on the laptop so I better go check out my other websites I haven't visited in awhile. 
Until next time..................

Here are some pictures, I couldn't take much b/c my camera isn't waterproof (which will be my next purchase) since I was in the water 95% of the time I couldn't have it on me.

Barge Party 2012... 



Potty Training

I forgot to add in my last post that ADDI IS POTTY TRAINED..... it's been two weeks & she's doing awesome.   She's only had about 4 accidents in the two weeks.  She was starting to hate getting her diaper changed so I kept telling her "if you don't like this then start going on the potty."  Well two weeks ago tomorrow I was changing her diaper in the morning & she was throwing her fit & I reminded her of what I said & next thing I know she took her pants & diaper off & went & sat on the potty & went pee. She has been going ever since.  She even held it on two long road trips.  I'm so proud of her & hoping that her brother will follow in her foot steps, but currently he's just excited about telling everyone how Addi goes on the potty.

Where do I start??!?!?!?!

Well I'm offically a SAHM as of April 13.  I truly love the fact of being the only care giver to my wonderful children, but it is hard.  There are days that I really wish I was going into work, but most days I'm loving it completely. 

Ok, as I said before my husband is currently serving his 20 days in jail which started last Sunday.  This is not easy on me at all.  It is so exhausting & this past week was horrible.  It started with almost two weeks ago my husband had to take Joey to the ER & he ended up with broncitis & then on Sunday (the day my husband had to report) Jake & Addi & I all got sick.  I took them to the doctors on Monday b/c they had horrible coughs & fevers & they told me they just had common colds.  Well come Wednesday Jake (my 7 month old) was having problems breathing & was very congested so my husband found a new peditrician & I took him in & he also has broncitis & a start of an ear infection.  Then on Thursday Addi got a high fever & her cough was bad so I took her into Urgi Care & she ended up having broncitis & a start of an ear infection.  So all three kids have been on antibiotics & Addi was put on a breathing machine.  Also Jake on Thursday was wheezing so bad & I was debating on taking him into the ER that night but I just kept my eye on him & his wheezing got better come Friday.  So it was a really bad week with none of my kids sleeping b/c their coughing was keeping them up.  Anyways they are better this week, but it's still not easy. 

Joey has been horrible (his attitude).  I'm not sure if this is something to do with the Chris being gone or what.  It's seriously to the point that I need a break from him.  He won't listen & is constantly being really bad.  I'm really hoping that this is a stage & this is what they consider the "Terrible Two's", b/c I don't know what to do if this is how he is going to be. 

So anyways besides that nothing really much has changed.  I've lost 20 lbs on W.W. so far so I actually am feeling good about that & right now I get to the gym 3 times a week b/c my mom comes to watch the trio for 2 hours so I can go & then when Chris is done with his jail time I'll be able to start going on Tuesday & Thursday's at night & make it 5 days a week.  I'm currently at 100 lbs need to lose.  UGH, that seems like so much espeically after how hard I worked years ago to lose 70lbs. 

Well it's getting late & I need to go shower since all three are finally sound asleep.  Until next time take care!!!

Really?!?!?!?

It's been a long time since I cried myself to sleep & woke up crying.....  Chris is the biggest asshole I ever met.  I really wish there was someone I could talk to w/o making myself feel like an idiot or looking down on me or him.  Anyway, here is the story...

Last summer while I was pregnant & home w/ our twins he was up at the trailor w/ friends & they were all out on the boat & the Coast Gaurd pulled him over & he got busted for DUI.  Well first off he didn't tell me about this until months later when he had to go to court & told me he was going to do something else & I finally got it out of him.  So first off he's been lying to me & I just brushed it off, which any normal person would have been pissed off.  This was his excuse for not telling me the truth "you were pregnant & I didn't want you to worry."  Nice but full of shit b/c he sure didn't worry any of the other times he upset me.  So anyways, he went to court again yesterday & found out they are making him do 20 days in jail.  20 fricken days, I know I'll survive w/ the trio, but it's not going to be easy.  I'm mad about this, but there is nothing I can do so there is no point to sweat about it.  They are giving him work priveldges.  Who know how much fines & cost he has to pay, he already wasted alot of money on his attorney.  So this little stupid stunt is costing us & our family ALOT. 

So he comes home yesterday around 5:30pm & I'm feeding Jake & the twins are running around waiting for daddy to bring dinner home.  The dogs are locked outside b/c they bother the twins while eating.  So you figure my brillent husband would come in the front door so the dogs don't come in.......but no he comes to the patio door & I get up to let him in & just say (in no angry, nagging tone) why didn't you come to the front door.  He opened the door & threw the bag he had in his hand & started yelling at me... "what the F.... does it matter what door I come in, why are you nagging me?!??! I can't handle this now."  Ok, WTH did I do.  I wasn't the one that was driving the boat drinking, I wasn't the one that sentenced you, then why are you taking this out on me & your kids?!?!??!?!  So basically that made the rest of the night awkard between everyone.  So I continue w/ the night doing everything myself as usual giving the trio a bath & then getting them ready for bed & feeding Jake.  Then after the twins were in bed I left for the gym at 7:30pm & I wasn't even 10 mins into my cardio when I started getting text after text telling me the kids are crying & to come home now & how he feels sick to his stomach & he cannot handle this right now, I need to come home.  I then asked him for at least 20 more mins so I can at least finish my cardio.  He started putting the guilt trip on me & saying come the 'F' home now.  So much for exercise relieving stress.  The only time I can ever get any "ME" time is the hour & a half I'm at the gym.  All I ask is please give me that much.  He is their father he needs to put his needs aside for a second & man up & take care of his kids.  Again it's not my fault he's stressed out about jail time so PLEASE stop putting this on me!!!  I felt like total shit.  So I finished my workout & came home & stopped to get him something to eat.  I didn't even want to come home that's how uncomfortable he's made it.  I'm sick of the kids & I having to walk on glass around him not knowing what he's going to blow up at this time.  So I get home & we don't say anything much to each other (another awkard moment).  He goes to bed w/o saying anything to me & I continue to clean up the kids toys (yeah, he didn't bother to do a thing while I was gone, but I'm getting use to it) & get all the kids stuff ready for my mom & dad's house tomorrow before I can lay down.  So I get upstairs & go to bed & we again don't say a thing to each other (again, this whole thing is NOT my fault quit acting like it is).  So I finally doze off & wake up to him putting the AC until in the window & turning it on.  REALLY?!??!?!?! WTF AC it's only March 14 & this is Ohio we can & probably will still get snow before Spring.  Plus it was only 69 outside, so we go off about that, b/c it's all about him (always).  So finally he says "will you just let me get some sleep" I said "sleep!?!?!? that's all you do is sleep".  So he gets mad & says "I'm leaving, I can't do this, I'm done" he kept repeating how he's done & he's leaving he's had enough (again, not my fault you're going to jail, quit taking it out on me).  I wanted to tell him to just leave already.  He then said "I'm going to quit & do nothing & make you worry about making the house payment"... You know what DO IT!!!!  This will show everyone what a man you truly are & giving up on your family b/c YOU fucked up, we did nothing.  He acts like I don't worry about money & paying the bills.. Hello idiot everyone shows stress a different way & b/c I don't take it out on my family doesn't mean I'm not worried.  Now he's got me all guilty & feeling like crap b/c I'm quiting my job come April 13 to stay home w/ the kids b/c day care is too expensive. 

So to say the least I cried & cried hard last night & didn't get to sleep till after midnight knowing I will be up at 5am to again get the kids dressed & out the door all by myself, while he sleeps.  Again, who needs sleep?!?!??!?!?!  I guess I don't.  I cried my whole way to work, I cannot handle this anymore... I'm trying to be the strong person my parents raised me to be, but it's getting hard.  I probably will not speak to chris at all today b/c he just doesn't care anymore.  I wish he'd just get over himself & stop thinking everything is about him.  He's got three precious beautiful children that are suppose to come first before anything.  I let him do so much on his own as I stay home & take care of our children & he's out playing/having fun (i really don't have a choice, someone has to be the responsible one). 

I don't know what's going to happen w/ us, I don't know what to do...I'm scared, but staying strong for my babies.  I really wish someone/thing will wake Chris up to reality!  How much more can I really take?  When am I going to break.  I really need to talk to someone, wish I can talk to someone b/c I need to get this out, it's killing me inside.

Another Week!!!

Well I've been doing good w/ my diet & exercising.  I am down another pound (286) making a total of 11 lbs.  I already feel 85% better w/ just that small drop in weight. 

Anyways, I have exactly a month left (April 13th) until my last day of work & I get to become a SAHM to my three little ones.  In a way I'm excited but I'm also scared.  Scared that we are making the right decision and that money wise everything works out the way it should.  I would really like to find a way to bring cash into the household, but I've been searching for weeks & have found nothing.  I don't understand the people that have those ideal work from home jobs & how they found/got them.  I so wish I was alot more creative and could make stuff to sell. 

The twins are doing great & getting smarter by the weeks.  If you hold up the letters of the alphabit Joey can name them.  My mom has been working with them since she started watching them back in November & they are thriving so much lately.  Joey is going thru a stage were he doesn't want to go to bed & wants to sleep in "Mom & Dad's" bed.  Chris let him cry the whole hour & a half that I was at the gym last night (I feel horrible about it now, but I have to have alittle bit of me time to).  So however he fell asleep finally in his own bed only to wake up around midnight & come into our room.  I carried him back into his room around 3am right before the big thunder storm hit.  I prayed that it wouldn't wake up the trio & thankfully it didn't. 

Addi, is starting to talk alot more & yell at her twin brother more & also tell on him.  She is so very helpful with her baby brother & they both watch over him very closely & hug & kiss him. 

Well actually gotta run, but until next time have a great day!!!!  I cannot wait to get home to my babies...

A little update :-)

Well we did our weekend get away 2 weekends ago & it was going decent until the twins arrived & they went with no naps.  It was still a good day even w/o naps until it became bed time.  My sister was going up early b/c her back was hurting really bad, so I took the oppurtunity to take the twins up to the room & put them to bed too & it didn't go as well as I planned it to.  Joey fought & screamed his little head off for about 2 hours.  He finally fell asleep on my bed while screaming.  I felt soooo horrible.  Besides that it was a good weekend. 

As for weightloss.....

I started going to the gym last Monday (2/27) & I went 5 days last week.  It resulted in a 5lbs weightloss.  Making that a total of 10lbs so far.  Doesn't seem like much but I forgot what it felt like to feel so good from working out & I can tell on how my clothes are fitting that Weight Watchers & the gym are working.  So this past Monday (3/5) I was down to 287 so I still have 90lbs to go.  I will be the happiest person if I can just get myself under 200.  I have NEVER in my life weighed this much & I don't like one bit of it.  I feel so disgusted & don't wanna do anything or go places b/c I don't like the way I look.  In just the last week I've been feeling 75% better about myself.  It also helps when people tell you that you're looking good.  Last Friday I wore jeans to work & one of my co-workers said "Damn girl, those jeans are looking good on you."  My confindence level shot up after that. 

On another note I will end my full-time employment and become a SAHM on 4/13/12.  In a way I'm excited to get to watch my babies grow up but I'm also scared.  I'm scared about money & I really, really hope we are doing the right thing.  I hope that maybe I can find a better paying job that's flexable w/ hours or work from home to bring more cash into the house.  I just really hope it all works out in the end.

So we are attempting a weekend get-a-way this weekend at a hotel w/ a water park.   Chris & I wanted to get down there Friday & spend that night by ourselves & then everyone will join us on Saturday.  I got my sister to babysit on Friday but I feel bad leaving her w/ the trio so we're going to take Jake w/ us on Friday & she'll watch the twins.  It won't be that bad since Jake is only 4.5 months he cannot do much & I don't have to chase after him so we'll be able to enjoy ourselves Friday night.  Then my sister is bring the twins & her son (Nate 7 yrs old) on Saturday & we'll have a day of fun & spend the night & go home Sunday.  I hope it doesn't turn into a crazy mad house which it seems all of our trips lately w/ the trio have been like. 

So basically the trio are at my parents house today so I have to pick them up from there after work today & we usually eat dinner there & then head home.  I have so much to get done for the weekend tonight.  I was originally planning on going to Gaint Eagle at lunch today & do some shopping for stuff we need, but then I got called downtown to finish out my work day (there is no shopping when you work here b/c of parking).  So now I have to put together another plan.  I have to pack up all the kids stuff & have it in the van & ready to go for my sister.  There is a pot luck on Saturday night so we're going to bring our "award winning" chili so I have to make that.  Plus make sure the van is filled w/ gas for my sister.  Then there is plenty of other stuff to do. 

I seriously have not sat back & realized how busy my life has become w/ 3 under 2.  Jake has started rolling onto his tummy & he also sat up by himself.  He wants to just get up & play w/ his brother & sister & He watches them w/ so much interest & just laughs away at them.  He also much love when they get in trouble b/c he laughs whenever we have to yell at them.  I'm glad he thinks it's funny b/c I hate having to yell.  But that seems to be the only thing you do when you have two in the terrible two's that only listen when they want & beat the living crap out of each other.  I do have to admitt they've gotten better with that & I catch them playing/dancing/ rolling around on the floor w/ each other.  No matter what I do love them endlessly.....

Well until next time....................ENJOY!!
Jennie

25 weeks 4 days pregnant!

Well I went this morning & did my 1 hour glucose testing & praying that everything comes back good so I don't have to go back for the 3 hour test.  The doctor I've been going to for my ultrasounds thinks that I might have gestational diabetes b/c the baby seems to be bigger then average. 

Here is what is going on so far:

I went in for a follow up anatomy scan on Thursday 6/23 (24 weeks 6 days) & the baby is healthy & doing great.  I got a really good 3D picture of him that you can see very clearly.  He's still measuring about alittle over 5 days ahead of schedule & weighing in at a whopping 1lb 15oz. So the Dr came in to do his final assesment & said "I'm guessing you've probably put on about 15lbs so far this pregnancy?" Me "no I've actually lost 10lbs according to my last appointment."  He said well go get the glucose testing done & we'll see you back in 9 weeks to check the weight of the baby then.  Then he continued to remind me that I need to not eat fast foods, fruits w/ high natural sugars, PB&J & lots of carbs.  Told me to stick to fresh veggies & fresh meat (seeing how I don't eat much meat I guess tons of chicken).  He kinda got me worried that the baby is going to be HUGE if I go full term & I'm scared.  Now I know I started this pregnancy over weight & really don't need to gain anymore weight, but I'm trying to eat very healthy so this baby will be healthy.  He said I'm probably feeding the baby the wrong stuff.  Kinda makes you feel like a bad mom.  Well I go for my monthly appointment w/ my regular OB next Tuesday 7/5 so we'll see if I've gained any (b/c I feel like I have) & we'll see what he has to say b/c I'm going to mention what the other doctor said to him. 

Other then that I've been feeling pretty good so far this pregnancy.  I am starting to get really tired faster especially chasing the twins around. 

Well this is the holiday weekend coming up & we have tons of stuff planned along w/ alot of driving.  Friday after work we're going to go up to the trailor so we'll be heading West w/ a little over an hour drive & staying the night & coming one later Saturday night.  Then Sunday we'll be heading South about 2-2.5 hours to my family picnic, which I cannot wait to go b/c it's been awhile since I've seen my family (aunts, uncles, cousins that is).  Then come Monday I think it's going to be a relaxing day before heading back to work for a 1/2 day & then go to the doctors in the afternoon.

Week 3

Well my 2nd weigh in was Monday 2/13/12 & I was at 285 so I lost a total of 6 lbs in two weeks.  Not bad.  I just have to get my lazy but to go the gym.  I was planning on starting to go this past Monday but my back had other plans for me.  Saturday I woke up w/ a somewhat sore back, but it was tolerable.  Then as the day went on it got worse & worse.  By the end of the day I couldn't even pick up my 4 month old it hurt so bad.  Little history on my back is I've had two back surgeries for herniated discs.   Well the pain last until Sunday afternoon finally out of now where the horrible pain went away just like that, it was so bad that I was literally in tears Saturday night & Sunday morning & I barely slept b/c of the pain.  So anyways I've been having alittle pain since then but it's tolerable, it just feels like I over worked my muscles.  So I'm just waiting for my back to heal so I can get to the gym at night.

Well that's if for now it's time to head home...........  Until next time enjoy :-)

Weightloss Journey..

I have over 100 lbs to lose that I've gained in the last 3 years due to fertility meds & then a twin pregnancy & then a surprise single pregnancy.  I have never in my live been so out of shape & over weight.  I don't look at myself in mirrors & I stay far, far away from camera's unless it's a shot of my shoulders up.  I joined Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com/ online this time b/c I don't have time for the meetings (even though I'd rather do that b/c it worked the last two times I did them).  I signed up last Tuesday so it's been a week & I've lost 2 lbs.  I'm happy I lost that much b/c I did do horrible this past weekend w/ eating. 

I am trying to fit workouts into my crazy schedule & I know it CAN be done I just have to get more motivated to go & when.  I use to absolutely love the way I felt when I worked out before & I want to get back to that point.  I'm going to try to log on weekly w/ my stats. 

Start (Tuesday 1/31/12)
Height : 5'11"
Weight: 291

Monday 2/6/12
Weight: 289

My goal weight in the end is 185 lbs.  But right now I'm shooting at 5% of my weight. 

The Twins are TWO!!!

Well I've offically made it two years.  They turned two on Sunday 2/5 & boy let me tell you they are not kidding about the "Terrible Two's."  Joey has picked up the worst temper ever.  If he gets mad he will screem & start throwing things around or hitting Addi.  I really, really hope this is a phase that he will grow out of b/c in sorts it is embarrassing sometimes.  They go to the doctor for the two year check up's this Saturday so I'll have more stats then.

Anyways, they had such a great weekend & party.  Joey was fascinated by his cake.  We had decorations & streamers & balloons & goodies. They had a blast playing w/ their cousins.

Oh & other great news.... come April I'm going to be a SAHM... Day care for three little ones is just to expensive.  I'm excited but also scared.  I really hope that this is the right decision for us.  I hope finacially we can keep up.  I'm currently looking for something to do maybe 2 days a week or from home to bring in some cash to help out.  I have to admit I'm going to miss going to work sometimes because that is definitely my peace & quiet time especially when things are crazy at home.  But I'm looking forward to it & with Spring/Summer coming it'll be nice. 

Well that's all for now, I will try to update after Saturday with the twins 2 year stats.