So overwhelmed...

Ugh, is all that I can say!!  I am so exhausted and I know I have little time left till the baby gets here so I have so much to do & so little time & absolultely no help & add my responsiblities to the twins. I just really wish my husband could help me more instead of just worrying about drinking & sleeping all the time.  I just get so overwhelmed w/ what I've gotta do.  My house is so nasty disgusting & he doesn't help do anything there is so much that I need to do cleaning wise but I don't have the energy to do it nor can I b/c I have to watch the twins.  If only he understood that's why I'm sooo stressed out right now.  I just need more help in getting stuff done.  Our house is falling apart b/c he cannot take the time to fix something when it breaks so it sits & then something else breaks & it's an on going thing & they all pile up & now there is so much that needs to be done & he doesn't want to do it.  I'm going to have to start doing stuff myself.  I grew up in a clean household & I know that he didn't.  I'm pretty sure he didn't even have to clean growing up so he's use to just trashing everything.  This bothers me know just as bad as it did then.    He keeps telling me to relax well it's called help me & then I can.  Start doing alot more then  you do now to help me & I can relax. 

Ok, I have to go to bed & try to relax. 

18 month stats!

So the twins hit 18 months on 8/5/11 & went to doctor for their well check up on 8/11/11.  Everything looks great & they are both developmently doing good.  No shots this check up b/c they were a week early for the shots (yeah for mommy).  But here are their stats:

Joey - 33.75"
           28lbs

Addisyn - 31.25"
                 23lbs


As for the pregnancy it's still going strong.  I've gained 18lbs since my last appointment at 30 weeks.  I'm now going every 2 weeks to my doctor & I have an growth ultrasound next Tuesday 8/23 & I cannot wait to see him.  So I believe we've FINALLY agreed on a name Jake Christopher.  As of this weekend I've been having lots of pressure down below & I think what they call Braxton Hicks contraction (never had them w/ the twins so I don't know).  Baby Jake has been moving almost non-stop for two days.  I go to the doctor tomorrow so we'll see how things are.  I've been just feeling alittle "strange". I'm so ready to not be pregnant anymore & finally meet baby Jake.  Maybe enjoy alittle bit of the rest of summer.  I'm so down w/ being pregnant.  I had a very, very uncomfortable night last night. 

Well I'll try to keep you posted on my upcoming appointments & the arrival of baby Jake.  I just cannot wait for the twins to meet him & see how they react.

Exhausted

I just want to say I'm to the point of pure exhaustion... I'm so damn tired.  I again didn't  sleep well last night this makes 3 days in a row of having a hard time falling asleep & then staying asleep once I do.  UGH, I just want to SLEEP again.  If this is how it's going to go the rest of the pregnancy then I know I'm in for it b/c then it'll be a few months w/ the baby before I'm sleeping thru the night (STTN). 

On a brighter note: we've made it a week w/ the twins in their big boy/girl beds.  Whoo Hoo.  They have done excellent so far & I'm so proud of them.  I kinda really hate saying anything about it b/c I'm affraid of jinxing myself.

RLS Sucks

OMG, I swear my legs want to run off somewhere w/o me.  I'm sitting here on the recliner & my legs are just feel so restless.  I cannot get them to just relax & feel comfortable.  I had this same thing w/ the twins & I remember it's on thing I hated.  I don't understand why it doesn't bother me at work though when I'm just sitting at my desk.  Oh well nothing I can do.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4580385_restless-leg-syndrome-during-pregnancy.html

Well tomorrow I'll be 28 weeks.  Whoo Hoo the end is near, thankfully but i'm not sure if I'm really for the baby to show up & all that hard work all over again.  OMG, I'm so nervous to be a new mom all over again & this time around to have two one year old toddlers running around so it's not like when they were newborn I could sleep when they slept during the day.  Nope b/c when this baby sleeps I'll be playing w/ the twins & I highly doubt that when the twins nap he's going to nap too b/c that'll be to goo to be true.  Well see how it works, I'm sure it'll be fine & everything will work out as it should just like w/ the twins.  I was so nervous bringing them home.  Not only was I never a mom before but I had to be a mom to two new babies & not just one. 

27w6d

Well went to the doctor last Tuesday 7/5/11 & thankfully I passed the glucose test, Whoo Hoo.. Thank you.  I'm really surprised b/c of how overweight I am to begin w/.  I've gained almost 20lbs in 5 weeks, so I've gained a total of 10lbs this pregnancy.  I personally think that's alot of weight in just alittle over a month, but the doc wasn't concerned.  So other then that I'm doing ok still w/ the pregnancy.  The weather has been really hot & humid out which I LOVE, but it hit me really hard yesterday, I felt so completely exhausted & weak.  So this weather for the first time in my life is starting to bother me.  Alot of things are starting to get harder on me. 

Ok as for the twins we officially converted their cribs into toddler day beds on Sunday night so tonight marks the 4th night & so far all is good (fingers crossed I don't want to jinx myself tonight) even the naps have been good.

Addi's bed

Joey's bed

So since they have been doing so good I don't understand why I feel like such a horrible mom for changing thier cribs already.  Why do I constantly feel like crying (maybe the hormones, who knows).  So the next move will be in early September to move Addi's bed into Joey's room so when the baby comes he will be in his own room until he is sleeping thru the night & then Addi will go back into her room & Joey & the baby will share a room.  I am seperating them for now b/c I don't want the baby waking up Joey in the middle of the night.  Then our next adventure will be to start trying to potty train towards the end of this year.  We're going to "try" & if it doesn't work we just stop & try again later.  i'm not going to force them into it if they are not ready but it'd be awesome to have them out of daipers by the time they are two & I know it'll be a miracle too.  LOL.

Ok as for me I'm really, really highly upset w/ my weight & that I ever let myself get to this point after all that hard work I went thru years ago to lose 65-70lbs.  What really hurt me was last night I was walking accross the street b/c my hubby & kids were in the neighbors pool & a car driving by on the other street yelled out "Shamu" & that really, really hurt me really bad.  I couldn't help but cry last night & everytime I think about it b/c Im so fricken fat & there is noone to blame but myself.  I know I gained alot of weight w/ the twins but I had a year before I got pregnant again & I could have al least lost 50lbs w/i that time.  I had no excuse.  Why wait till January to start Weight Watchers again & doing great only to get pregnant that same month.  I told myself this time around I'm going to join WW right away & start a diet as soon as the baby is born.  I'm going to start running agian as soon as I get the A-OK from my OB.  I am not going to wait a year to start getting in shape.  I'm probably 130 lbs over weight right now & that is totally embarrassing to think that.  I am feeling that my hubby doesn't even love me or even find me attractive at all b/c he never tells me I look nice in years or slap my ass in a playful way or say anything to make me think he's still attractive to me like he use to always do it before I got FAT as Shamu.....  I'm disgusted, embarrassed, sick.....  I look at myself & I totally don't blame hubby for not being attracted to me I'm very disgusting looking w/ all my fat rolls everywhere.  I don't even like going anywhere b/c I'm so nasty looking.  I really want to feel the way I did years ago.  I was in shape & happy & healthy.  If I don't changed something soon my health is going to get really bad.  I need to change things NOW w/ my eating & then later (after baby) w/ my workouts & diet. 

Well gotta go I had to tell how I was feeling after that Shamu comment b/c It's really, really bothering me & I cannot get it off my mind. 

25 weeks 4 days pregnant

Ok, I'm going to try this again & hopefully it posts. 

I went in this morning for my hour glucose screening.  Hoping to not recieve the dreaded call that I failed & then have to go back for the 3 hours test. 

Here is alittle update on what's been going on so far:

I went in for a follow-up anatomy scan on Thrusday 6/23 (24w6d) and the baby is doing great. He's healthy & seems happy & weighing in at a whopping 1 lb 15 oz.  The OB that's taking care of all my screening thinks that baby is growing to big.  He's still measuring alittle over 5 days ahead.  The doctor came in after my U/S & said " so I'm going to guess you've gained about 15lbs so far this pregnancy!" My reply "No, I've actually lost about 10 according to my last doctor appt." He said then he beleives that I'm probably feeding the wrong foods to the baby.  He said we'll wait till you get the glucose test done & wants me back in 9 weeks to see how much the baby weighs then.  Ok, from what I've read an average weight for a fetus at 25 weeks is about a pound & a half so mine really isn't that far off?!?!??! I'm just confused & now I'm somewhat scared & worried that my baby will get way to big & that won't be healthy for him.  I also feel alittle horrible if I am feeding the baby wrong.  Anyways I go to my regular OB next Tuesday 7/5 for my monthly exam so we'll see if I have yet gained any weight (I feel like I have this past 5 weeks) & I'll bring up some of the concerns form the other doctor & see what he thinks. 

Oh & here is a picture from the ulrasound 6/23/11

Well this weekend is the Holiday weekend & my favorite one at that.  Friday after work we'll be going to the Islands up to the trailor for the night & then heading home late Saturday night.  Then on Sunday we'll be heading South to a family picnic for the whole day (2.5 hour drive), which I cannot wait to see family again.  I think that on Monday the actually 4th of July is going to be a relaxing day except maybe see fireworks later that day.  Then prepare for a 1/2 day at work on Tuesday then my monthly doctor appt.

Happy 4th of July :)

UGH

I just posted a very long updated & the computer didn't save if & when I hit publish post all was lost so I'll have to come back & update my blog later when I get another second.